I Hope

Today is one of those days that I wish I were raising my own children instead of helping to raise the children of 80 other parents. For those who don't know, I am a child and family therapist, and I often have the opportunity to work on some pretty intensive cases. Because of such cases, I am working from home today even though I called in sick. Needless to say, my line of work can be challenge. However, it provides constant reminders of what kind of parent I hope to be.

I know I don't have kids yet, and I can't know what it will really be like until I have kids. However, when I do have kids...

I hope they do feel small when they stand beside the ocean, and I hope they dance (and I hope they dress better than the people in this video). 

I hope they don't pay no mind to the demons that fill with fear and know that I'll make our place a home.

I hope they know I'll be a friend to them...

...but more importantly that I will be a parent to them who will provide safety, security, and structure.

I hope they know that nothing's impossible and that they can dream, explore, get creative, and be silly.

I hope they know they are beautiful no matter what the world says and that they never need to try to be someone they aren't.

I hope they know that everyone makes mistakes (even their parents) but that mistakes don't have to be permanent.

I hope they know that even when it seems things could never get better, there can be miracles if they believe.

And not last nor least, I hope they know that even though there will be hard days, sleepless nights, disagreements, and moments when I forget important details, my life will always be blessed because they're a part of it.

And in the meantime, I'll do all I can to teach these things to the children with whom I do have the blessing to interact. 

I hope.

Tender Mercies Continued.

Sometimes, the Lord knows what we need more than we do. He allows people to come into our lives, and situations to happen to us, not always by our doing, to help bless our lives. Even when we don't always know thats the reason. I remember when I was 18, going through a rough time (one of many) in my life, feeling alone in my health struggles--as if no one truly understood PAIN. That is when I met, Ladawn. :) I had no idea our meeting would turn into the friendship and experiences that it has today. One girls night, turned into a forever friend. As we sat and talked late into the night, after all the other girls left, I realized I had met someone who truly understood a lifetime of physical and emotional pain. Someone who could not only sympathize, but empathize with me. As fun nights turned into many conversations...and after practically begging her-- I then moved in with the lovely Ladawn Park. Again, not having any idea as to what would transpire from this. We grew, had many many strange, fun, spiritual, life changing experiences together. What once was a fun "get to know you night", turned into something that changed my life forever. The Lord knew, we needed to meet. The lord knew, we would have understanding in our special friendship, the Lord knew we would have amazing experiences together that not only shaped and changed our lives, but several others as well. Its truly amazing how one small, what seems to be insignificant thing, turns into something life altering. Im grateful for my understanding of how truly amazing and awe inspiring our Savior is. He knows us, what we need, and the bigger picture--so much better than we do. we must trust in that, and in him.
-Ashley

Mercies in Disguise

Both Ash and I have faced some pretty significant health challenges throughout our lives. Our shared pain actually played a major role in the development of our friendship. Although both of us have made some significant progress, we still have some tough days. Even though today started off pretty good for me, my body had some sort of reaction to an unknown something (Food? Environmental allergen? Emotional stress of work? I really have no idea). Anyway, at some point today, my body flipped a switch from doing really well to struggling to finish out the day. It's been known to happen, so it wasn't too much of a surprise. I was a little frustrated because I had to change my plans tonight in response to the pain. Honestly, though, I couldn't be too upset because I've felt so amazing the rest of this week.

Anyhow, so I ended up just coming home after work, and all I could think of was how much it would help if I had someone to rub my neck and shoulders. Thankfully, I have a great friend who is always willing to help me out in that department, but I was pretty sure he would be busy tonight. I decided to text him anyway, and surprisingly, he was able to stop by almost immediately.

My friend didn't stay for terribly long...maybe 20 minutes. He rubbed my neck and shoulders and talked with me about my day, and then he had to take off (because, as I had assumed, he did have some things going on tonight but still took time out of his day to help me). I gave him a hug, expressed my appreciation to him, and then he was on his way.

Then, I was left with my thoughts of how grateful I was for a small, but oh-so-meaningful act of service...especially as this wasn't nearly the first time he's gone out of his way to help me out. And like the hymn More Holiness Give Me states, I found "more patience in suff'ring" tonight because I found purpose in it. I thought about how much more deep and meaningful my relationship is with this particular friend and with Ashley and with a handful of others in my life because they have shared with me in my pain. They've been provided with opportunities to serve, and I've been provided several doses of humility as I often have to rely on others. Simply put, as the video I posted at the beginning of this post states, tonight I was reminded that sometimes the trials of this life are my mercies in disguise.

Continuation of title...

Patchy grass. "What an odd concept" you may be thinking. This is where that concept comes from--Thinking that the grass, can or always will be greener on the other side. Wondering, that whatever choice you make, or dont make, is going to be less than what you see somewhere else. Why? Human nature. Sinful people. Reality. Always wanting what you dont have. Believing that your life could only be better or happier "IF". Heres the point. Grass isnt beautiful if its patchy. No one WANTS patchy grass. They want full luscious green grass. But our own grass may not always look like that.

This blog is meant to encourage. Encourage others that you are not the only ones who wish life could be different. BUT, lets try and find the happiness in the BEING together. Whatever stage in life you may be, whatever your life looks like at the current moment, however things may seem--we can find the joy and the good and the beautiful through all the patches. Lets look at our own grass as if it were the most beautiful lawn we have ever seen. ;)

Food for thought: “Embrace the struggle and let it make you stronger. It won’t last forever.” -

“You’re worthy of it all. You just have to believe you are!” -Tony Gaskins

"The most adventurous journey to embark on; is the journey to yourself, the most exciting thing to discover; is who you really are, the most treasured pieces that you can find; are all the pieces of you, the most special portrait you can recognize; is the portrait of your soul." -Oswald